Backed into a Corner

From 2007

   I came up with this topic, as I was looking into Pell grants for me to go back to school. The topic came from a section on the application, bias application at that, that I would have had to fill out to apply.
      
 I came across a section about felonies, rather, drug selling or possession. Basically it tells you that you cannot get Federal aid if you have any of these two on your record. It also says that MAYBE, you can get some from the state and outside sources, which I believe is BS. I am sure the state has the same question, don’t you?
          
This goes for applications for employment. I am sure it goes for applications for a lot of things in this country. I think this is bullshit. Some of you know me, and some do not, so let me give you a quick history of my past. Past mistakes that is, ones I am still paying for.
        
 I used to do drugs, and also sell them, among other things that are against the law or looked down upon. I was set up, and got two felonies for distribution of narcotics. This was ten years ago, I served my punishment, and it has been 7 years since then, and 10 since I have used to sold drugs. Now back to our topic.
           
When I first got the felonies, I had to get a job. I turned in 100 applications. You know how many call backs I got? None, absolutely zero. You know why? Because I had to fill out that line that asks about your criminal past. It says it may not bar you from employment. Yeah right! Now I do not blame companies for not wanting a criminal, but when is enough enough? When can I reclaim my life and live normal, and able to receive normal consideration for jobs and grants and whatever it is? It has been ten years. I served my punishment didn’t I? Do I deserve to be punished for the rest of my life? Do I not deserve a chance? What about the rest of the people like me? I am not talking about murderers, and child molesters, they should be killed. But people they make mistakes such as mine and clean up their life.
             
This made me think about the parole scenes you see or hear about. They always ask the prisoner if he thinks he can become a good member of society. Of course they all say yes and some I am sure our truthful. They want you to be a good member or society, but not give you any chance to be. You have to shovel shit for the rest of your life, with all opportunities to better yourself blocked because of your mistakes. When is enough enough? How can someone better themselves and be normal if you shut the door in their face at every corner? Now answer this for yourself. Why are so many criminals repeat offenders? Ok, some are just idiots and criminals at heart. But what about the rest? They shovel so much shit and our backed into a corner so hard to get out of, that they feel like they have no other choice. How can they be members of a society that looks down on them, and gives them no chance? They can’t! It is bullshit, and just another thing the government fucks up. What’s new huh?
           
 So, I, along with some others, are sitting here wondering which way to turn. How do I afford school? You will not let me get a grant, and you will also not let me get a good job to pay for school. You won’t let me do shit for something I did ten years ago. Now do you see where you are pushing us? Do you see why there is crime, and whatever else happens because of shit like this? I am frustrated, that now I am a husband and a father, clean of all things bad, that I cannot live a normal life because of something from 10 years ago. Knowing I am more intelligent, and got more brains to do some of these jobs better then the nitwit college students they hire, or someone who has a clean record only because they did not get caught. I feel for the felons who are trying to do right, and are on the unemployment line, can’t get schooling, follow their dreams and trying to make a difference and live a normal life. They do not allow us to. What can we do though? Nothing it seems! Guess were fucked! If that’s the case, let’s riot, fuck them! What else do we have to do besides being turned down for something else? Who knows! If you do, let me know!