I was thinking last night after I put my first rant up on here. I was thinking what if I was forced to choose a religion. Like what if at a certain age you would have to legally choose a certain religion to follow. I know this is just a hypothetical question, but one I decided I wanted to delve into just for fun. So I decided to go down a list of a few of the bigger religions and see why I would or would not choose them.
First, we will start with being a Muslim. Like I said in my first post, if the 72 virgin thing was true, I would put a bomb up my ass and blow myself up in a mall the day after Thanksgiving. (That's a joke if you thought it wasn't) Actually to tell you the truth, I would be more inclined on 72 women who aren't virgins because I would want the ones that know what they are doing if you know what I mean. But, I will have to pass on being a Muslim, because blowing myself up to be special doesn't sound like fun to me, and I do not believe that 72 virgin shit in the first place.
Then you have Hinduism. What I mostly know about this religion is that they fast a lot; maybe that explains why they are so skinny. (Or it could just be that their third world countries are poor, who knows) Anyway, being a man of girth (I love that word); I couldn't see myself passing up meals like that. I am more the type to add a meal then to take one or more away, so I will pass on this religion to.
Then you have the Catholics. First off, the services are boring. If you have kids and want to sleep in on Sunday, go to a Catholic church, you will get plenty rest there. The main reason though I will pass on being Catholic is that I am not really into fucking little boys in the choir, just not my niche. Also, I got a son, and even though he is two, I am sure he does not want to be fondled either by some guy in a funny hat.
Then in my thoughts about all of this I came to Buddhism and became intrigued. First off, they worship a fat man and that's right up my alley once again being a man of girth.(Wonder how many times I can use that word in a paragraph) Also, what I know about this religion is that it's all about becoming one with yourself. That made me think a minute. I realized maybe this was the religion for me. Matter of fact, I believe I have been a practicing Buddhist since I was 13 years old. I've been becoming one with myself a lot of times since that age. Funny thing is I bet you never knew that Cinemax late at night was a religious channel!
Yup, if I had to choose it would be a Buddhist because I am already kind of a practitioner of the religion. Who’s got the lube? Its worship time!
(If you didn't catch on, this is just a joke. It is one that shows my feelings about how dumb religions are, and me making light of all the stupidity of it. I hope you got a chuckle out of it, because I did writing it. See you next time)
First, we will start with being a Muslim. Like I said in my first post, if the 72 virgin thing was true, I would put a bomb up my ass and blow myself up in a mall the day after Thanksgiving. (That's a joke if you thought it wasn't) Actually to tell you the truth, I would be more inclined on 72 women who aren't virgins because I would want the ones that know what they are doing if you know what I mean. But, I will have to pass on being a Muslim, because blowing myself up to be special doesn't sound like fun to me, and I do not believe that 72 virgin shit in the first place.
Then you have Hinduism. What I mostly know about this religion is that they fast a lot; maybe that explains why they are so skinny. (Or it could just be that their third world countries are poor, who knows) Anyway, being a man of girth (I love that word); I couldn't see myself passing up meals like that. I am more the type to add a meal then to take one or more away, so I will pass on this religion to.
Then you have the Catholics. First off, the services are boring. If you have kids and want to sleep in on Sunday, go to a Catholic church, you will get plenty rest there. The main reason though I will pass on being Catholic is that I am not really into fucking little boys in the choir, just not my niche. Also, I got a son, and even though he is two, I am sure he does not want to be fondled either by some guy in a funny hat.
Then in my thoughts about all of this I came to Buddhism and became intrigued. First off, they worship a fat man and that's right up my alley once again being a man of girth.(Wonder how many times I can use that word in a paragraph) Also, what I know about this religion is that it's all about becoming one with yourself. That made me think a minute. I realized maybe this was the religion for me. Matter of fact, I believe I have been a practicing Buddhist since I was 13 years old. I've been becoming one with myself a lot of times since that age. Funny thing is I bet you never knew that Cinemax late at night was a religious channel!
Yup, if I had to choose it would be a Buddhist because I am already kind of a practitioner of the religion. Who’s got the lube? Its worship time!
(If you didn't catch on, this is just a joke. It is one that shows my feelings about how dumb religions are, and me making light of all the stupidity of it. I hope you got a chuckle out of it, because I did writing it. See you next time)
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